I have this weird addiction to Sour Patch Kids. These incredibly wonderful gummy children make my mouth water and I mean that in a very non-creepy way. However, the odd thing is I only crave them when I go to our local 99 cents store. I can be at any supermarket in this entire universe and overlook them, but when I'm there they somehow end up in my basket at the checkout line. They also tend to be devoured on the walk home which means that I'll be craving them once again a few hours later. It's an ongoing process that's a little disturbing.

My shirt smells like my perfume which is called Blossoming Romance. Feel the love.

I start school next week with only two classes. I feel like screaming with sadness like a disturbed 5-year-old. The other two classes I seriously wanted haven't opened whatsoever, and the possible English class that I could have had also went down the drain. They all went down the drain, but not only that, they got clogged there like huge glops of toothpaste mixed with cat hair. It's a huge mushy mess.

Enough of the grossness from this life, let us lighten things up.

The 49ers are going to the Superbowl. This actually made let out a "Seriously? Well isn't that just cool." Being a native Californian and loving San Francisco to no end, I was somewhat excited when I heard this news. Not that I watch football on a regular basis or anything (or barely understand it), but it seems like they haven't made it that far in a while. I don't even know who they are playing against. Sad, I know. I'm more interested in episodes of The Next Iron Chef or the Australian Open which is currently happening, by the way. Roger Federer, you may need a haircut, but you're pretty snazzy in my book.

It's raining outside. Finally. Thank you Lord! You truly are amazing.

-Tabs <3

I hate that chocoate bars show your calorie intake. I'm already feeling bad about myself for eating it, and now you want to insult me with how much fat I'm also injesting? Companies need to start thinking about different types of marketing techniques, which includes leaving out this information. If you want to find out the nutritional facts, they should have a website you can go to. If not, thank goodness and let me eat my sweets without guilt being involved. Here is what should be put there instead:

Serving Size: The entire bar, of course. If we would want you to eat something smaller then we wouldn't sell it to you like this.
Calories: We took out the calories and replace them with lots of love.
    Calories from Fat: There's fat in chocolate bars? Since when?
Total Fat: Didn't we just go over this?
Cholesterol: A couple bites couldn't hurt.
Sodium: We believe this has something to do with salt. That is all.
Total Carbohydrates: Your body actually needs a bunch of this stuff so it can keep working properly. You're eating the right food.
    Dietary Fiber: Not much, but enough.
    Sugars: A little to much, but satisfiable.
Protein: There's actually some of this amazing stuff in here!

That about sums it up. If you think something should be changed or added, feel free to pitch in. I'm always ups for a good laugh.

Being an occasional writer, I always wonder what it would be like to actually have something published one day. Would it be a novel or some sort of essay? Or would it be a poem that would end up in an amazing book that I would see on the shelf of Barnes & Noble? Would whatever I wrote be taught to children or would a girl from a university be reading it on the front steps of the library? I wonder a ton. My mind reels from even the slightest thought of seeing something of mine published in a book store or sitting on someones shelf. However, only God knows what my future holds. I try not to preoccupy myself with what will happen ahead of this time, but concentrate more on the present. Everything that is going on right now is much more important than what is in the past or what will happen. I like leaving God in control, He's much more understanding about this world.

I will now announce the date for my baptism which will be February 26th. It will be awesome and one of my close friends as church is also getting baptized with me. Woo hoo! Excited can't even begin to describe it. Nervous? Yes, I believe so. But nonetheless, very happy.

Alright time to do some relaxation before heading to sleep. For example, watching Flipped while drinking out of an old fashioned Coke bottle. Also trying to get over the fact of eating that entire IKEA chocolate bar. The regret started overcoming me when I saw the nutrition facts. I still stand by what I said earlier and they should be taken off. People would feel way better about what they eat. Sort of.

Delicious flavor,
Tabs <3

There's always that one song that makes you want to cry, laugh, and smile all at the same time. It hits you somewhere that you never knew existed. To you, it's beyond amazing. You can feel it flowing through you as you continuously listen to it. It brings a different type of happiness that you haven't felt before and it comforts you in ways that you honestly can't explain.

Music can do this, but not all music. There's a specific type of rhythm that curves to everyone's liking. I mentioned in a previous post a while back that music is a total constant. It is everywhere and in everything. Sometimes though, you find that one song and you just can't get over it, no matter how hard you try. However, some might not even try. The song is so perfect that it's just unexplainable. It grabs your heart and takes you on an adventure while you're listening to it. It pushes some sort of button deep inside that releases a realization that somehow, in a way, you're free. Music can do this. Some of you might agree with me and others won't, but I believe this is true. There doesn't even have to be words to the song. As long as you think it's beautiful, it's yours.

I found my song.

I'm not sure I can truly tell you what I felt after hearing this piano solo. As I'm typing, I'm currently listening to it for the millionth time. I don't understand why I fell in love with this song so easily, and I honestly don't care. It's amazing. For some reason, it brought back a ton of memories and today was the first day I heard it. I thank Pandora for that fact. The more I play it, the more I smile. It's just that simple but at the same time, it isn't. Nothing is simple, especially when music is involved. This to me, however, is pure bliss. It makes me want to be creative. It makes me want to paint and sing. It makes me want to write like I've never written before. It makes me grin. It makes me want to be graceful. It makes me teary. It makes me feel.

If you found your song, relish in the fact that you have something that close. Be happy. However, if you haven't found it yet, you will. I know you will. And that moment will be so amazing, you will come right back here and share it with me. Right? Of course you will. I hope.

Have a wonderful night,
Tabs <3

With a fever of about 101 and an incredibly sore throat, I can truly say that I am sick. I feel like pudding if that makes any sense at all. I was doing so well too! I actually haven't been sick since the end of last September. However, when my dad caught this horrible plague, I knew it wouldn't be long until I would also be coughing up phlegm (I hate that word) and chugging down an abnormally large amount of tea. I will definitely get better by Wednesday though, which happens to be my best friend's birthday. We will frolick in the downtown area with all the ginormous buildings and I am also taking her somewhere special. She actually doesn't know it yet and hopefully she doesn't read this before Wednesday. If she does, well then Kels, I will refuse to tell you so don't even bother texting me repeatedly wondering where this mysterious place is. I refuse to give in.

While sitting here dying in my ever so wonderful bed, I got to thinking about the amount of peace one is surrounded by when they're left alone to think. There are millions of thoughts that go through a person's mind everyday, yet have we ever just tried to stop thinking so much for once and enjoy the simple peace that's around us? I mean sure, even thinking to yourself that you should stop thinking is still technically thinking (sorry about the repitition, hang in with me here) but it's not thinking as much as we normally do. In other words, put the stressful thoughts aside for just a few moments and thank God for everything we already have in our lives. Even thank Him for the peace that He so graciously grants us. We may not take advantage of it all the time, but every once in a while we should. Without a doubt.

For the next couple of days, try taking in a few moments to yourself to enjoy this peaceful enviroment. If you're in an enviroment that isn't peaceful whatsoever, then get away somewhere that is less distressing. Even if it's to your car in the garage or hiding in your closet, it will be so worth it. You will thank me. Well, at least I hope you will. If not, then I'm sorry and you have full permission to call me a sewer swinging slime ball.

I have a feeling it's going to be a long night full of sniffling and Charlie Chaplin re-runs. I should also like to inform you guys that I have found the Pizza Planet truck in both Wall-E and A Bug's Life. I feel so accomplished. If you have no idea what I'm talking about and are currently furrowing your brow trying to figure out what I'm even saying, then just pretend you never read that. 

Mmmm soup,
Tabs <3

P.S. - I tend to mispell words a lot in my blogs. I apologize. Trust me, it bugs me just as much as it bugs you.

I don't remember most of my childhood. I do know, however, that it mostly consisted of playing tackle football with every guy in the neighborhood, climbing trees, getting bruises, eating worms (not real worms silly, I mean gummy worms) or sitting in my room, immersed in some sort of book. I was a tomboy with a bad attitude and a craving for literature. Not your average munchkin, I assure you. There is one instance I remember though in my vague memory of childhood that I will most likely never forget. It included my best friend Kelsey, some chickens, and paralyzing fear all rolled into one. Here it is from our childlike point of view...

The bell rang, which could only mean one amazing thing for every kid who was already clutching his/her backpack with anitcipation. School was out. Before I could even begin to shove my things in my bag, I was being trampled by my classmates who could already taste the freedom of being released. It was as if they had been caged against their will for eternity and were finally getting a moment to go out in the open. Stupid heads, I thought to myself, you're still going to be back here tomorrow. I quietly put my addition and subtraction math homework into my bag, hating it with all of my being and also trying to conjure up some way to avoid it. My stomach growled and I realized I woudn't make it five minutes without some form of food. I needed to get home and fast.

As I walked out of class, I soon felt Kelsey by my side. We have always been two peas in a pod since kindergarten and nothing could stand between us. While we were making our way to the classroom where her mom worked, we spotted Chase, the boy who had a serious crush on Kels. Every third grader knew he liked her. I mean, he even chased her into the girls bathroom where no boy has ever ventured into. That was intense stuff. She quickly switched sides with me so she was hidden by my backpack and we half ran so he wouldn't spot us. It worked.

We got to her moms class and were about to say our farewells, before I had a beyond brilliant idea. She should come over to my house. That way we could both avoid homework and run around my neighborhood screaming with happiness at the top of our lungs. It was perfect. My mind was forming this plan at rapid speed and I knew for certain it would be full proof. I told her what I had in mind, we both ran in to ask her mom for permission, we begged and pleaded with a cherry on top, and soon enough we were on the long walk to my humble abode. We skipped and sang, not knowing the horror that awaited us.

My house is a decent size, but unlike all of our neighbors, we have a huge backyard. You could hold a soccer game at one end and a BBQ party at the other. It was amazing and my little brain absorbed it like a sponge. We also had another thing that our neighbors lacked. We owned chickens.

Kelsey and I arrived home. We immediately threw our bright pink bags into my room and made a dive for the fridge. Food was a necessity before a long afternoon ahead of nonsense, laughing, and tackling each other. While eating, I stared into my huge backyard and spotted the chickens. I realized that Kels had never been into the chicken coop before and thought, well, why not give her a tour? I've been in there a bajillion times anyway. So with full tummies and finished juice boxes, we ventured toward the coop.

The coop itself is kind of like a small shed and to the left of it, there is a little pen where the chickens go out and peck around. The pen has a moderately high fence so they won't get out. I opened the door carefully to the chicken coop and showed Kels where the chickens lay their eggs. We grabbed the remaining ones we saw and were having a pretty great time with all of this. As exciting as it was, we also wanted to visit the chickens who were out in the pen talking amongst themselves and enjoying the gorgeous day. We made our way back there and all of a sudden, the door slammed shut behind us. I quickly tried to open it back up but it wouldn't budge, the door was jammed. I slowly turned back around and I could tell something was wrong. A deadly silence took over and we soon realized all of the chickens were advancing toward us. We back up into the side of the shed and could only feel one thing: fear. I looked for an opening but it was useless, there were to many of them and they were coming toward us fast. All of a sudden, I see Kels sprint over a line of chickens and I immediately followed. We weren't out of the clear yet, the chickens were full on chasing us! Their savage beaks were right on our heels as we were screaming bloody murder, knowing there was a very small chance of getting through this without being ripped to peices. From out of nowhere, we remembered the fence and latched onto it with our tiny fingers. We clawed our way up and fell onto the other side, limbs and part of our dignity still intact. As soon as we landed, we both stared at each other, thinking the same exact thing.

We're alive.

Have an awesome day!,
Tabs <3

I hate the fact that college classes get filled so quickly. My registration time was already pretty late anyway and that fact that people literally devour any chance of having a class early (even if they really don't care about it, it's the satisfaction of getting in that counts) leaves me to believe that it's going to be about ten years before I even get my general education. I feel like punching something. Last semester I was only able to tackle down two classes, and once again I have only been able to get into two classes I actually need this semester. I'm contantly checking everyday to see is two other classes have opened that I actually need but hope is fading fast. I'm getting to the point where I'm planning just to show up to class on that day and hope I'll be one of the students picked to stay there. Sounds like a good plan that will most likely fail. Help me.

Besides having high-in-the-sky hopes about college students dropping out of their classes, winter break is slowly coming to a close. Well, I actually have until January 23rd before this becomes true but I know I'll be heading to school soon before to find out where my only two lame classes are. And also track down the ones I want to get into. I know, I'm desperate. Feel free to pity me.

By the way....drumroll please.....this is my first post of 2012! WOOT WOOT! Sorry, I had to let that out. How was everyone's New Year? I hope it was fantastic. I hope you lit a ton of illegal fireworks and sang the lyrics wrong to your favorite song. I also hope you felt completely embarrassed after you did that. Next year (or hopefully some year very soon), I hope to be standing in the middle of Time Square, the lights blinding me, being elbowed in the face by so many people, and watching that ball drop at midnight. Yes? Sounds like a great plan, right? I think so. Maybe not the elbowing in the face but everything else sounds amazing. And also hopefully meeting YOU. That's right. You. You and that pretty face of yours.

With New Years and break almost gone, all that is left is working on some teenSMART package to get a discount on car insurance. I don't have enough words to desribe how incredibly dull and boring this thing is. Due to lack of computer knowledge, I also get to do the "Parent Participation" part for my dad. Check on me in about four days to make sure I haven't lost my sanity. It would be much appreciated. Other than that, I hope you all are having a wonderful day! Also, if it's raining where you are, thank God with all your heart. We're missing it over here in California. Tragedy might strike soon, and not in a good way.

-Tabs <3

When I woke up this morning, something didn't feel right in the pit of my stomach. Literally. The bathroom seems to be my best friend today and I'm surviving off of Powerade along with an incredibly large bottle of water. So far I've been able to down half a bottle but that's seriously pushing it. I can also feel dehydration coming on which sucks to the fullest level of suck. Pardon my French. Either this is the stomach flu, food poisoning, or there's a tiny alien growing in my stomach which is going to rip me to shreds in the near future. I'm sticking with stomach flu for now though.

Along with laying in bed and being completely useless, I've been thinking about the possibilty of writing again. I actually haven't written in a while due to the various happennings that are going on at home. Last night I picked up the journal my best friend bought me for Christmas, looked at the first blank page, and then put it back down. It will happen soon. I hope.

My laptop screen is now becoming dim. Before I go, I shall leave you with one of my favorite parts from the movie I'm currently watching by an awesome German caterpillar.

I hope you all are as excited about this day as Heimlich is about his wings.

Smile!,
Tabs <3

Christmas was on Sunday, and I planned on blogging that day but completely forgot. I think my memory is getting worse and that soon I'm just going to completely lose my sanity. Today, while making some amazing garlic bread, I took the tub of butter and was prepared to stick it in the cabinet while I grabbed the salt so I could put that in the fridge. Something is wrong with me. Either that or I've been watching James Roday as a fake psychic for way to long on television.

However, Christmas was pretty awesome. We actually had our entire family home for more than half of the day (my brother took off mumbling to himself, he worries me) which was actually kind of nice. We exchanged gifts, albeit they weren't wrapped but it's the thought that counts. My presents mostly consisted of chocolate which is honestly fine with me. I sadly devoured half of them though in under 30 minutes. The temptation was unbearable. We smiled, we laughed, we thanked God for another new day and the fact that He gave His only son for us to be born on this rock we call Earth. Short but blissful.

Is it weird that I'm actually missing my school's campus? College students aren't supposed to feel this way. I'm supposed to be relishing in the fact that I'm on winter break with absolutely nothing to do. I'm supposed to sleep in until 3:00 PM, wake up and throw in some Charlie Chaplin re-runs, and fall back asleep. Of course fitting in some junk food and a couple of bathroom breaks is a given, but sleep is the main thing. Wrong. I put all college students to shame. I miss my campus. I miss the bench that I sit on. I miss the tree I almost crashed into on the first day of classes. I miss the fact that I feel like I'm in a forest when I'm there. I also miss getting lost. I miss muttering to myself while I'm actually lost. I'm terrible, I know. It's as if I can already see the look of pity you're giving me.

That really isn't as pitiful as the fact of doing literally nothing over break. I should have a tshirt made that says "It's no use being my friend, I have no life anyway" and I could wear it when I'm grocery shopping. Not only am I not relishing in the fact that I'm on break, but I'm becoming even more pathetic by turning into a hermit. Someone please come over here and save me.

Due to the fact that I have a lot of time to spend at home now, I get to think about things a lot more. Some very random things. Have any of you realized that a safety pin is just a more advanced version of a paperclip? If you really compare the two together, there isn't much of a difference except that one is pointy, twisted a little more, and has a cap. I just thought I should share that. Is there anything odd that you guys have thought of lately? Share! I could use some entertainment.

Until later,
Tabs <3

It is so lovely outside! The weather is beginning to turn into half winter and half autumn mode, with just a touch of spring. I wish I could just give nature the biggest hug. However, I know that might end badly due to all the insects that don't usually like being disturbed by strange humans and their embraces. There is also all the prickliness that some trees and bushes have to offer so maybe admiring from afar would be a better idea.

Being the huge nature buff that I am, I tend to take pictures.

Doesn't that school bus in the background just take your breathe away? Or that fence! Oh goodness, my mind is blown. Alright all kidding aside, this was taken at my old high school where I frequently go to clear my mind and just aimlessly walk around for hours. I write there, I read, I snap pictures, I sing, I definitely do not dance, and I say a couple of prayers. Nature plays such a large part in my life because it brings me so much closer to God. He created everything and every single part of this beautiful rock we live on is continuously praising Him in all of His glory. He has blessed us beyond belief with all of the wonderful things that we are surrounded by.  Next time you see a flower, first of all don't hug it. You might squish a poor little bug to death or worse, the little bug will get angry and show you whose boss. Secondly, thank God for creating it. You will feel all fuzzy inside afterward.

I also have a feeling I'll be walking around a lot more lately since I have a two month break until the spring semester begins. I practically already had a non-existent life while I was in school, but winter break is just going to be really weird without anything to occupy my time. Some of you might be saying "GET A JOB!" Ahhh well you see, that is much harder than is sounds. Making a dollar two sounds absolutely terrific but there are circumstances which prevent that from happening. To all of you who have a job, right on. Don't do anything bad to make you possibly lose it. For example, creating a destructive toy robot out of the coffee machine or making fun of your boss at the water cooler while they are unknowingly standing behind you. Keep your job. Love it. Hug it. Just not to tightly.

Disreagarding the past few days and odd stomach nausea, things are slowly getting better around here. Well, we're mostly looking on the bright side of things so we're hoping they are getting better. I have faith everything will be alright, even through all these trials. At the end of this, I'll leave you with a quote that has literally kept me going. Whenever I get worried or feel as if nothing is going alright, I think of this and somehow feel a little better. I hope it will do the same for you.

You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list, the smaller your God.

Have an awesome Friday!,
Tabs <3

While sitting here thinking about why in the world my stomach hates me so much, I realized that Christmas is only a little over a week away. It's scary how time passes by so quickly. I feel as if I just started college and am hyperventalating as I enter my first class because I was so nervous. However, each day that passes by is God's gift to us. Each day allows us to get closer to Him and to thank Him for everything that He has given us. Yes, sometimes it may be hard because life doesn't always go the way you plan. Trust me, I know. I had an absolutely terrible night that most likely also ruined the rest of my week. I don't want to go into the details but this life is indeed hard. However, we need to keep our head up and trudge on through all of these trials that we are facing. As long as we do that, we will always have a smile on our face and God's light shining throughout us for the world to see.

Last Wednesday was finals for me at school, and also the end of my first semester in college. I can't even believe it. Is this really happening? Would I be allowed to climb on our rooftop and scream at the top of my lungs with happiness without getting arrested? I sure hope so because the urge is unbearable. I also aced my finals, which I have God to thank for. I'm so excited that I just can't hide it. Well, actually I can hide it but I'm continuously smiling on the inside. Except for my stomach at the moment which spontaneously decided to become incredibly nauseous. Booo!

Other than those little tid-bits, life has been alright. The sun seems to still be shining and there's an incredibly cold breeze. The roses also still seem to be blooming but most of the leaves have managed to fall of the trees. Also, if it wouldn't be much to ask to whoever may read this, keep the Gherasim family in your prayers. We really need any help we can get right now, especially my brother. Most of you don't know that I live in a difficult household, but God has always managed to help us through tough times. We're just getting pretty weak and need some help to stay strong through these hard times. I would appreciate it very much and would be very thankful. If any of you need praying for, I would gladly help also.

Time to get back to this wonderful yet very cold day. I'm shaking in my little reindeer socks! Hopefully it's warm and sunny where you all are. If it isn't, then know you aren't alone. Tis the season to be freezing.

With love,
Tabs <3