felt like crying for absolutely no reason at all? Or just completely giving up after years and years of being strong? Do you ever think that maybe happiness is just a myth? That maybe it's something that we strive for, but don't really get to experience? It's as if right when it's in our reach, when our fingertips are barely able to brush it, it just slips away. Then everything just turns into complete darkness, and you don't know which way to turn or which way to look because you feel as if you have lost all the hope in this world. Everything is just completely shattered...that's how I feel right now.

You guys don't know my background, and I don't like to tell it to very many people. The over view is that my family is lost and very much broken. We don't have anything left to live for but the fact that God will help us through our problems and make everything better. We seem to be going deeper and deeper into this hole, we're trying to find ways to climb out, but the ledge always seems to be out of reach. It's upsetting and tragic to see the ones I love go through all of these problems, but all I can do is pray and hope for the best. I try so hard to be the optimistic one and reassure everyone that everything is going to be fine, that we'll make it. My optimism and my writing. That's all I've got. 

Sometimes though, I just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs and crying until I can't even move anymore. Just to let everything go and not be strong for once in my life. Tonight seems to be that night. If I let my guard down though, I'm not sure that I'm going to be able to get back up. And that's also a sign of weakness. I can't be weak, but I just really want to every once in a while. 

My second blog of the day. Man. How pathetic am I? I didn't know what else to do to keep my mind occupied. I don't know if anyone will read this, and if someone does, I'm not sure if they will care. But I will still be here, spilling my thoughts out on either paper or too the world. Somehow...paper always wins.

Good Night,
Tabs <3

8/30/2010 09:20:12 am

hello again.
Yeah, it's me. I was just reading all the new stuff you have written because your amazing writing drew me back here to read more. It is still very wonderful work. :)
And I'd like to say that I'll be praying for you and your family. I've gone through some hard times to and God always helps me through. I hope that things work out for you in the end.

And I do like Moon Dance. It's a very good song.

8/30/2010 01:45:33 pm

Hello and thank you :) I've gone to your page and read some of your things and they are pretty amazing if I do say so myself. If anyone else has told you otherwise, well, just don't pay any attention to them. They have no idea what they are saying. You photography is amazing, and your writing is superb. I'm loving it. Keep it going. Last year of high school so pretty tough, stress is rising and sometimes I just have random melt downs. I will also keep you in my prayers! Check out Collide by Howie Day, just a suggestion.

Tabs <3

8/31/2010 09:41:54 am

Thanks for reading my stuff! Not many aside from family and friends do! In fact, you may be the first that I know of! :) I think that school will get eaisier as the year progresses. It usually does. I just finished listening to the Collide song. I like it! Lots! Thanks for sharing!

Here's a verse that helps me sometimes. Hope it helps you too. Just felt like sharing... "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
Thanks again,


8/31/2010 11:10:15 am

No problem, I always reading what other people write and I really hope so. It's a pretty big drag so far but it's only the beginning of the school year, I actually have an exact countdown to graduation which is actually pretty sad. I love sharing music, it keeps me sane haha. And I love that verse, I think I have it somewhere up on my wall in my room. It's wonderful. Keep in touch though :)

Your welcome,

9/5/2010 11:23:45 am

I love reading other peoples' writing. It helps inspire me and get an idea of what kind of writer I am. Although, I don't know how often I'll be able to write with school going on. I have so much to do! haha. I keep a lot of stuff on my walls, including verses, but sometimes I can't find them because I have so much other stuff. :) Oh well. So what are you planning to do after graduation? College? Job? Merely curious. (I love that word, merely)

Lauren ^_^

9/22/2010 06:25:21 am

Yeah school has been sort of taking over my life that past couple of days, so it has been really hard to write. I love putting stuff on my walls, they are almosy always covered with something new. After graduation I was planning on moving to Washington to stay with my cousins and get my general ed, and then hopefully I can get into Pratt in New York and then head over there to major in Creative Writing. What about you? :)



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