No, I am not speaking of the delicious candy that Willy Wonka creates in his ever so wonderful factory of goodness. I'm sorry to disappoint most of you. I am talking about nerds as in what people call these days, "geeks". The Einsteins of the world and the brains of the operation. I am a nerd at heart and have always been a nerd. I get good grades and enjoy a pretty intense chess match every once in a while. I'm also pretty shy and spend most of my free time doing things that pertain to school. Not anymore though, due to the fact that I have now graduated high school. We nerds are typically make fun of in this society, and I always seem to wonder why. What makes us so hilarious to people? Why do people like making so much fun of us? 

The truth is, we are all nerd one way or another. You can be working at McDonald's (I'm not dissing working at a fast food joint, I even applied for a job there myself. Just an example.) and doing completely terrible in school, but you are still a nerd. However, in your own specific way. Sometimes being a nerd doesn't always entitle the fact that you need to be incredibly smart and on your way to Harvard. No way. It means that you have a specific talent that your good at, and it doesn't even have to be a huge talent. You can be a professional at blowing bubbles in your chocolate milk, or great at football. It really doesn't matter. How does being good at something make you a nerd? First of all, being a nerd means that you have the intellect to exceed at something. Therefore, exceeding at something means your good at it. That's putting it bluntly. In conclusion, we are all good at something one way or another. 

So the next time your in the middle of making fun of someone that's smart or is good at video games, just remember you are just like them. You are also good at something that most people in this universe are probably not good at or maybe haven't even heard of your specific talent. That's only one thing to take into consideration. The next is taking in the fact that your actually hurting that person's feelings. How would you like it if you were being made fun of constantly? You would probably get just as irritated and upset. This only goes out to those of you who think it's appropriate to make fun of us nerds. Hate to break it to you, but YOU'RE A NERD TOO! 

I went to the dentist today. Apparently I had a "dry socket" forming in one of my gums where one of my wisdom teeth were removed. When they said that term, I thought they switched from talking about my teeth to some type of cleaning utensil. I was utterly confused. They then explained what it was, stuck some gross medication in my mouth, and now everything I eat makes me want to barf. On the bright side, it's a wonderful night to go play some Mario Forever :)

Brush your teeth,
Tabs <3


You will have a neighbor probably anywhere you live. They might be pretty annoying or they also might be the kind that you barely even see. Either way, It's as if they have been adapted into your lifestyle. You greet each other, yell at their kids to get off your lawn, wonder when they're going to return your leaf blower, and sneak into their swimming pool when they've gone out for the night. You might grow rather attached to them or can hardly wait for them to move. All neighbors are like that. However, we seem to deal with each rather confidently in our day-to-day lives.

I live in a pretty diverse neighborhood with pretty diverse people. I'm pretty sure we've lived here the longest out of everyone else so we've seen quite a bit of action going on. We also have the most distinguished house since we're literally buried in every type of flower and green leafy thing imaginable. Our house is known at "The Jungle", and we take great pride in that fact. We're also the quietest except for our dog barking and a BB gun going off every once in a while (We hunt squirrels due to the fact that we have 3 walnut trees in our backyard and we don't like sharing with them. They left us without walnuts one year. One thing led to another, and a BB gun was bought.). Actually, I live in a culdesac. For those of you who live in one, you realize that you get to know your neighbors quite well. 

We're directly in the middle and have 3 neighbors on each side. Our family calls the house on the left the "Idiot House". Why? Due to the fact that each family that has lived that has caused trouble in some way, shape, or form. We always end up randomly hearing police sirens and seeing someone being shoved into the back of a cruiser. We have yet to see someone move in that hasn't been a troublemaker. The house next to that one has a woman living there whom we refer to as "Gossip Woman". She is in everyone's business and knows everything that is going on. She's rather bulky and has a really weird stare. She starts rumors like crazy and is constantly wearing slippers. We've learned to avoid her at all costs. The house on the second to the right of us we don't have a name for due to the fact that no one lives there long enough to be named. I'm pretty sure the longest anyone has ever lived there was about 5 months and we barely saw them anyways. That house has a great pool. We don't understand anything anyone says in the house to the right of us since they don't speak English but they seem nice. The other guys around us are decent, and give us their usual hello when they see us. Yes indeed, that is my neighborhood. 

Try paying tribute to your favorite neighbor tomorrow. Offer to mow their lawn or get their mail. Do something that contributes to their daily activities and show them that your a great person. It will probably be something that you won't regret. Be a good citizen! Above all, be a good neighbor. State Farm is there. 

Mmmm high fructose corn syrup,
Tabs <3

Besides the large amounts of pain and swelling that's going on in my mouth right now, I'm pretty happy about how well I handled my wisdom teeth being pulled out. The extraction itself was probably the scariest and most uncomfortable thing I've ever been through in my entire life so far though. One word of advice. If you do plan on getting them removed sometime soon, I suggest being put to sleep. Take my word on it. 

Just wanted to get on very quickly and share this with you...

Until we finally realize we have absolutely no righteousness of our own in any form, that we are morally and spiritually bankrupt. Anything we might do thinking we have our own righteousness is a pretence and an insult to a Holy God. Until we realize that God came to us first and that we did not come to Him through any goodness of our own and that salvation is fully God's gift to us and that by grace through faith believing in our Lord Jesus Christ He gives us His own righteousness. Until we understand fully that God the Father can only be satisfied with what His Son did for us on the cross can we understand that serving Him is not appeasing Him but loving Him in worshipful gratitude and reverential humility. Only then can we begin to know how to serve Him in His strength and not our own. ~ Richard D. Teague

May God help us serve Him every single day and forgive us of all of our sins. May we be able to worship Him and give Him thanks in everything that He has done for us. Without God in our lives, we are truly lost. He is the one that has all of the answers and can help us reach our true potential through His own strength. Praise be to His name!

Medication is kicking in,
Tabs <3

extraction hurts.


Very badly.

Not doing to snazzy,
Tabs <3

They irritate you to no end and blame you for things that you haven't even attempted doing. They read your diary and pour chocolate milk all over your favorite shirt. They color all over your science project with crayons and listen in on your phone calls. They ALWAYS eat the last cookie and trick you into playing rather dangerous games. They always make fun of you and push your buttons until you develop an unusual twitch. They are a pain in the you know what and make you scream into pillows. I know, I have one. 

Granted, I have an older brother but he acts like he's five-years-old even though he's twenty-four. It always seems that I'm the grown up and he's the one running around the house with his underwear on top of his pants. He drives me insane to no end. The things he does sometimes just makes me want to launch the nearest pointy object at him. However, that would not be very nice and I seem to have a lot of patience. I have shot him at close range with a BB gun but that's a completely different story. As irritating as he is, I put up with him. Why? Well, first of all because he's my brother. Secondly, I love him but I really don't like him all the time. 

The point to this rambling is that as annoying as siblings can be, they are still family. They are still apart of our own flesh and blood. We put up with their nonsense because we do indeed like having them around. Oh come on, don't you roll your eyes. I can just see you reading this right now and shaking your head. It's true and you know it! We love them. Even if you completely hate your siblings with all of your being, there's a part of you that would just be missing if something were to happen to them. A sort of emptiness, if you will. Out of all their nonsense, they make us smile like no other on those very rare occasions. Just pay tribute to them one day. Buy them a box of chocolates. Write them an "I Love You" note and stick it up on their door. They won't even know what to think.  Just seeing their facial expression from this random act of kindness will be incredibly priceless. Try it! It will be something you won't regret. Well, hopefully not at least. May God bless all of you and your siblings. 

All I can think about is the wisdom teeth removal that I have to go through on Tuesday. I'm getting two taken out normally, and the other two I need surgically removed. Yikes to the fullest level. I'm already shaking. Any type of consolation here would benefit me a lot and I would give you the hugest virtual hug known to mankind. Help me!

Happy Almost Sunday,
Tabs <3

We all have them. We may deny them, but they are there. Lingering in the back of our minds like an annoying fly, buzzing around until we finally start chasing after it with a rolled up newspaper. Some of these embarrassing moments still make us want to hide under a rock and hide from all of civilization when brought up, others just make us boom out in laughter and proclaim, "Ohh I remember that! Wasn't I just a weirdo?". Yes, we were weirdos. And we are still weirdos. Putting the weirdoness aside, these tragic memories that are better forgotten are usually brought up at the wrong moments. We usually also hate sharing them. Why would you want to tell someone about  something that happened that made you want to completely change your name and move to a different country? However, sharing these awful memories usually makes it easier on yourself and helps you forget it more (or so I've heard). So, in turn to give an example, I shall share one with you.

I am not usually the type of person that gets embarrassed easily. I do weird things on accident sometimes and I accept the laughter that comes from people. No big deal. Brush it off and move on. However, in this one incident, I felt as if I just wanted to turn into a puddle of water and disappear. Never to be seen or heard from again. What caused this, might you ask? I will now tell you.

Well as opposed to not getting embarrassed often, I also don't get crushes on guys very often. Guys are guys. They are all different, just like us girls. They have mood swings, cravings, and are terrible to deal with when it's their "time of the month". Unfortunately though, I got a crush on this guy freshman year. He sat behind me in biology and he smelled like watermelons. We talked every once in a while, but I couldn't get much out of my mouth (cheesy, I know). One of my best friends, Paris, shared this same girlish crush. We giggled like little five-year-olds when we saw him, and also tried not to drool to much. One day, Paris and I are walking around the school and we begin talking about this guy whom I shall call Dasani (the water bottle is right next to me and I'm refusing to mention his name in case he reads this). There we are, gossiping up a storm about this boy! At this point we're getting really into our conversation and I say, "Oh yeah he's just adorable! His smile just gives me butterflies inside!" (don't gag just yet) and right when I say that, Dasani just pokes his head in between Paris and I. Now, I'm not sure if he heard what I said, but at that moment I felt like my stomach had turned inside out and that I was going to barf on his clean white shirt. Did I barf? Thankfully, no. I just couldn't breathe properly for the next hour. Dasani and I are now friends though, and I'm hoping he really hadn't heard what I said. If he mentions it anytime in the future, then of course I will most likely want to hide under a rock and live there forever. Paris still mentions this incident every once in a while at which time I'll give my "ha ha ha yeah good times" saying. They were good times though and I'll most likely never forget that.

Wow, I feel better already.

Try it! Tell someone about an embarrassing memory. It might even make you laugh just saying it out loud. It's just a suggestion though. Anyhow, it's about to be 12:00 AM here so I should probably hit the sack. I never actually understood that saying. Hit the sack? Why in the world would you want to hit a sack? Are sacks more comfortable than mattresses? Who knows.

Good Night,
Tabs <3

For those of you who don't know (probably everyone), I would like to become a registered dental assistant. Maybe even further my career in becoming a dentist. Why? Simple. I love seeing peoples smiles. You can tell a lot by someones smile and I would like to help them maintain that smile. People sometimes ask me, "Don't you think you will get sick of looking into people's mouths all day?". The answer to that is yes, indeed I will. However, I will get tired with the satisfaction of knowing that I helped someone improve their dental hygiene which will make me feel all fuzzy inside.

I had a trip to the dentist today which I was rather nervous about. I'm not very fond of all the pointy and frightening tools that they stick into ones mouth. So when they called my name to come in, you can bet that I silently screamed inside. I had to get some fillings done that I procrastinated on so they got worse, and the rest is history. I walked in, sat in the rather uncomfortable green chair covered in plastic, and was greeted by my incredibly quiet dentist. Yet handsome. At one point I tried telling him he had nice hair but it just came out as, "Yyoir heere locks neace" since I can't properly speak from my whole face being numb. From hearing this, he just chuckled and shook his head. Long story short, fillings were put in, and now here I am drooling uncontrollably and waiting for my mouth to get un-numbed. 

On the bright side! It's a beautiful day out with a wonderful breeze. I would go enjoy it, but I need to tune into a movie to get prepared for the pain that is about to come in my mouth. Have a wonderful day everyone. Make sure to keep your dog on a leash. The mailman is supposed to come by soon.

Still drooling,
Tabs <3


I have a knack for writing essays. I write them quickly and I write them very well. How? I have no idea. Nonetheless, it always seem that when an essay assignment is given to me, I don't sigh and complain like the rest of the class. Instead I procrastinate on it until the very last second and usually finish within ten minutes. It's actually kind of scary. I've even done essays right before I arrive at the class that it's due for, and end up getting a high grade. Sad, right? I agree. Anyway I'm staring at my blank Microsoft Word page and debating on whether or not to write my very last pointless essay before I graduate at this very moment. Tempting, very tempting. I'll think about it.

I bring good news! We're having rain this weekend. There's also the little fact that I passed my permit test with flying rainbows. I can't remember the last time I was that nervous and even had side effects. I was sweating, chewing on my lip, continuously squatting for some reason, and I began to have an unusual twitch. While waiting to go take it, I was furiously repeating questions and answers over an over again in my head. When I couldn't remember the answer to one, I spazzed until it finally came to me. The people around me probably thought I had some type of mental disorder. I feel bad for them for making them see that. I'll be imprinted in their minds forever. However, I took said test and checked it over twice. When the lady with a weird voice gave it back to me with a happy face drawn on it and "SUPER!" written across the whole thing, I smiled so huge I'm pretty sure I frightened that poor woman. I am a happy camper and thank God for giving me the wisdom to pass it. 

I'm pretty sure I need to do this essay before it begins to get dark out. I hope you all are having a wonderful day and haven't forgotten to feed your fish. Those poor things. 

Much love,
Tabs <3

I don't remember if I ever wrote about music and what it means. Well, what it means to me at least. If you ever seem around, almost 95% of the time I have my headphones in. If I'm not listening to music, I'm either singing or humming a song that I have stuck in my head. I listen to everything except music that screams at me or has profanity. Why would anyone want to hear someone cussing at them in singing form? It makes no sense to me. I probably also have more Elvis Presley music on my iPod than any regular teenager should. Nonetheless! Music is a total constant for me. 

Music, in a way, is something that helps us escape from the real world. It takes us somewhere completely different where we can revel in memories or in the comfort of something that seems to understand us. We even sometimes rely on it to express our own feelings which we can't seem to say out loud. This seems to calm us in a way that no one or anything else can for that matter. It flows through us like our own blood. We feel it in every part of our body and it reaches deep down into our soul where it takes hold of our deepest inner emotions. We can't control it. We, however, also don't want to control it. Why would we want to control something that makes us feel like we can be or do anything? No one can take our music away from us. Literally, someone can probably take away your iPod or stereo for playing it to loud. Maybe someone can yell at you for having your headphones in during an "important" meeting at which time you will take them out, sighing all the while, but your still playing that one song over and over again in your head. 

Some people also believe that music can only be considered music if it includes some type of instrument or a lovely voice to go with it. That is in fact, completely untrue. Music is everywhere and in everything, but not everyone can hear it. If you put different types of sounds together that are around you, you could create a type of music that is more beautiful and astounding than anything you have ever dreamed of hearing. It's the type of music that can't be written down into notes. It can't be written down on paper or mimicked in any sort of way because it would be totally unethical to do so. Music like that, is what some people wait an entire lifetime to hear. However we take advantage of this, and tend to not really take the time to listen to it. This music flows through one ear and goes out the other, while we're busy fighting with the ATM machine or just completely lost in thought. One day, just sit outside for about five minutes and take in your surroundings. Take in everything that you hear. I do this a lot, and I guess it's what is mostly keeping me going throughout this crazy journey we call life. Everything that God has created in this world makes such a beautiful sound, and I would like you to hear it also. You can hear it anytime, but this is only if you choose to do so.

Today just seems to be one of those I-feel-like-going-to-sleep-early days. Right after I watch a movie which I most likely won't pay any attention too. Permit test tomorrow. Hoping I'll pass and don't get lost on the way there again. Yikes. Have a wonderful night everyone.

Just breathe and pray,
Tabs <3

"I’ve never lived in New York, but sometimes I dream of doing it. If I was somebody different, I might move there with an old, sticker-covered, brown suitcase in the trunk of a decrepit old Datsun with a crack in the windshield, find a miserly landlord in one of those tenement halls Simon and Garfunkel sang about, and work a hundred hours a week at a corner bar to get by…and I might sing shyly at a club on Tuesdays until I got the nerve up to write some music and hire an old man to play upright bass with me. And then, slowly, I might go from mouse to maven…at first, New York City would move me around like a knight on a chessboard, up and down staircases and through subway stations and forward and backward on its fast-flying sidewalks, but then I might begin to move in it like a dancer…knowingly, pliably, gracefully…ever-conscious that New York doesn’t need me, but learning that I had a place there if I would only carve it out." - Audrey Assad

I have always wanted to go to New York. I love the city and everything that is in it. I love all the cars, the lights, smell of exhaust, the hundreds of different people that all have their own story to tell, I just love it. Everything about it just entices me even more. One day, I will go there. I'll stay there for a month just see if it is really what I've been dreaming about. I'll paint my name all over it while I'm there, and draw my inspiration on everyone I hope to meet. I'll eat my heart out in happiness and savor every morsel of hope. Just for one month though. You know what they say. Well, actually I don't really know what they say so maybe I'll stay there a little while longer. I won't get there by plane though. Oh no. I'll drive and I'll take the long way. I'll weave my way through every state possible and have much laughter along the way. I honestly, can't wait.

Now you have had a peak into one of my main dreams. I have many of these dreams, but they're just dreams and I may not even be able to do any of them. However, I will dream on. I will dream as if there is no tomorrow and you should do the same. Don't let anyone tell you what you can and cannot dream. Dreams are the only thing we can hang onto, that really explain who we are. If somebody takes that away from us, then we have lost ourselves. We have lost all that we have made ourselves to be. Be strong and determined. Dream with all of your heart and stand up for these dreams. We might not have the time or the ability to achieve them, but for the most part they keep us going. They keep us aspiring in the fact that there is something better out there, even if it isn't within our reach. Keep reaching and don't stop reaching. Dream and believe.

On another note, I think I've officially tanned my way through spring. I'm afraid to see what I'll look like when summer is over. Is this a good thing? Maybe. Summer has arrived early here in wonderful California. It was 93 degrees today. 93 degrees. I'm boggled. Also hot. It's going to be dark soon and I'm thinking about spending the night in my backyard. I need to get a good look at those stars. 

The Coca Cola company makes Dasani water? Interesting.,
Tabs <3