Yesterday was July 30. Many historical things happened on that day. Baghdad was founded, Vanuatu gained independence, and Jimmy Hoffa's disappearance. So many important things that it will make your head explode. Well, maybe not explode but it will make you go into shock. Okay, maybe not that either. The point is, it was an awesome day that should be commemorated for many different things. Another one was my birthday.

I don't usually make a big deal out of my birthday, even though everyone else around me does. Not very fond of presents (people have better things to spend their money on) or balloons (they scare me in the middle of the night when I see them floating around my room). Going out to eat with a group of friends and thanking God for the fact that He has helped me throughout these years is usually what I do. Sure I do believe it is a rather important event (it's not everyday that you get to celebrate when your popped out into the world all slimy and confused) but I just don't go all out. I spent the day at the mall with my dad who bought me large amounts of sugary goods and we giggled as we avoided those pesky sales people trying to spray you with their toxic goods. Nonetheless, the day passed by very quickly and painlessly. It didn't even feel like a birthday.

Here I am, eighteen years of age, and it seems like only yesterday I was a little girl being dared by my neighbor to eat a worm. Those were the good days. However, I am starting college in about a month and am driving like there is no tomorrow. Yes, I finally summoned up the courage to drive. I took one driving lesson with a guy named Joe whom I very much like. He was a fluffier version of me in male form. He said I was a natural so a couple more weeks of driving and then off to get my license. I've grown up so fast! I feel some tears coming on. 

Time for me to go and barf from this iced tea I'm drinking. It has the most horrible after taste known to mankind but I really can't stop myself from drinking it. It looks so incredibly appetizing but it's a trick. Don't trust really cheap tea. 

Maybe just one more drink,
Tabs <3   

Sometimes I think about the person that I've become. I think about how I got here in the first place. I think about why I act the way I act and why I do the things I do. I think about who I'd be if I hadn't done something or maybe not have attended some event. What if I hadn't have been there in that moment. What if I had been somewhere else or spoken to a different person, would my opinion on life and the way I visualize things be different? Would I be sitting in this rather uncomfortable chair hugging Roger my pillow pet and writing my thoughts away to the world? Would people see me from a different point of view and say to themselves, "What happened to her?" 

Maybe we all ask ourselves these questions, but they are usually asked when they are least expected. Sometimes there are really good to be asked so you can have some assurance in your life that maybe you need to follow a different path and maybe make some changes. However, most of the time they cause stress. We believe that if we would have done something differently or possibly acted nicer toward a certain person, everything would change. If that one day or moment hadn't have happened, we would be a better person. I know I tell myself that sometimes. It's a bad habit that most of us need to break out of. 

I want to tell you something. We are better than who we were. You read me? We are who we are truly made to be. You know that one event I was mentioning that probably would have changed the course of your life forever? It's in the past. This is the present. Don't even think about what has happened. Life always moves on. It's moving on right now. So what are you going to do about it? You are going to love yourself for who you are. You're going to give yourself a big hug and scream at the top of your lungs, "Self! You are amazing!" Do it. Right now. Have confidence in everything that you do and always be strong in every action you make. Have faith in who you are. Don't ever doubt yourself based on who you used to be. You, are amazing.


If you might have noticed, I squeezed in the little bit of information that I am now the proud owner of a pillow pet (courtesy of my best friend). He is a turtle and his name is Roger. Roger says hello. His soft plushness stole my heart immediately. We both have a long night full of movies ahead of us so I bid you all farewell. Have a wonderful night and don't forget to hug yourself before you head off to wherever your dreams may take you.

You're pretty,
Tabs <3


 

I'm not one for guys. When I see a decent looking one, I acknowledge his existence and maybe take a couple more glances, then move on. Of course, I am guilty of having a couple of celebrity crushes. Leave me alone. There is, however, something referred to as "Deep Regret". Adam Young, an amazing singer and blogger, mentions this and every time I read it, it makes me think of him.

This happened about a year ago. It was about 10:00 PM and rather chilly outside. My father and I just got done playing some tennis so we stopped by Wal Mart to grab something to drink and maybe just hang out a little more. We parked the car and started making our way toward the entrance. I remember I was kicking what I think was a bottle cap (I can't remember) and I had my hands shoved into my pockets. He looked up from the ground at the same time I did. He was walking out of the store and headed in my direction. He had messy blonde hair and was just a couple inches taller than me. He had on a pair of worn out jeans and a plain white shirt. He was surrounded by his friends who seemed to be talking to him, but he was looking right at me. My dad was telling me some story but I didn't hear any of it. Suddenly he smiled and I died inside. It felt like someone just smacked me in the stomach with a bowling ball. I couldn't breathe. My knees got wobbly. My mouth went dry. I felt like I was about to faint. I attempted smiling back but it probably looked like I was choking on something. We both waked slower as we passed by each other, and suddenly one of his friends yelled, " Hey man! Hurry up!", and my dad scolded, "Why are you walking so incredibly slow? Come on, I'm thirsty." I opened my mouth to say something to him but nothing would come out. He grinned as if understanding what I was going through. I slowly started walking backwards into the store and he did the same until he reached his friends. I haven't seen him since.

I don't know what his name is. I don't where he is from. I'm not sure if he has any siblings or what his favorite color might be. He was a complete stranger but yet I know in my heart that I will never forget him. Wherever he might be, I hope he's happy. I hope he's fulfilling his dreams and painting smiles on everyone that surrounds him. I'll be praying for him. If he reads this, then I want to tell him one thing. My names Tabby.

Alright so I know this is my second post of the day but I just realized that July 1st was my one year anniversary with my blog. Corny, I know but this is an important date. I'm just rather stunned. This one year went by so quickly that it's just insane. I wish I could give my blog a huge hug and maybe even a gift but that would be a little awkward. I mean, we haven't even hugged yet so we should start off slow. However, this is what I posted on July 1, 2010.

It's the first day of July, and this summer seems to be going by even slower than I thought it would. Less time out of the house, and more time stuck at home. I'm not sure that there is technically a good side to this ordeal, except for the fact that I'm REALLY getting caught up on my reading, since i have absolutely nothing to do. Other than chores and working on summer homework, life's becoming a total bore stuck here in my itty bitty room that's about 10 degrees hotter than it is outside. Thrills. This is when i really wish summer would go by quickly so i can see fall again, those beautiful leaves and overcast skies. Oh how i miss them. Well, it will come soon enough (: hopefully, quicker than i expect. 

The upside to summer is the beach though. Ohh my goodness! How i would kill to be at Bodega Bay at the moment! Wouldn't you?

Wow. Interestingly enough my room is still as hot as it was then  and I really can't wait to see fall. I miss Bodega Bay more than ever and chores still come in abundance. What an exciting life I have. Anyway have a wonderful night everyone. Make a wish on a star for me.

Tabs <3

Technology is a huge part of our lives. I mean with cell phones, iPod's, computers,  and whatever else there is, it's just insane. It quite scares me actually.  Not only due to the fact that this world is getting more technologically advanced each day that passes, but also because anything that is electronic just completely hates me.

Everything electronic that I haven't worked with for a while just spontaneously decides that it doesn't want to work for me. And me only. It has me so utterly confused and rather sad.  Let's say for example that I pick up someones touch screen phone and I would like to just examine it. I'll turn it over a couple times and maybe even press a couple of buttons. The phone will not like this and it will either just die or turn off by itself. It's true. Disturbing, isn't it? It's like I have some really weird force that tells any electronically powered thing to back off. Maybe I just have something stuck between my teeth. In which case I must check my teeth before using someones electronic device.

I've been in super writer mode for the past couple of days which hasn't happened in a while. I'm back to writing on anything I can when I spontaneously get an idea (I pretty much mean anything, it's pretty frightening) and I'm taking more pictures than usual. I guess summer tends to bring out the artist in me. Will I share any of my photography or writing with you? Possibly. I actually somewhat shared one of my writings in my last post about dreams. If you stalk me on Twitter than you'll probably see my photography every once in a while. If you don't, then here's a peak.

Yes, I love flowers with all of my being. I actually sniffed those rather profusely after I took the picture. They smelled amazing. I'll take a sniff for you also the next time I pass by them. I'll also tell them hello if you like. That's also a glimpse of the California weather.


I need to get to my nightly yoga routine (Yes, I do yoga. Don't give me that look.) and then probably fall asleep to who knows what probably another Charlie Chaplin episode reel. However, there's also the fact that it's a beautiful night and the stars are just waiting patiently to be looked at. I might even see a shooting star. Oh how wonderful that would be.

Mmmm tea,
Tabs <3

 

I love the feeling they give you. The reality that you are going into a completely different world. Sometimes you recognize the people you see, and sometimes they're complete strangers ready to accompany you through whatever blissful enchantment you find yourself being apart of. The scenery could be exquisite. You could be in a mansion wearing something that would take a year's worth salary to pay for, or in a jail cell waiting for your death sentence in a pair of torn slacks with a moth eaten shirt. You can have the ability to fly and glide through the clouds, feeling them brush against your skin as softly as silk. You can hear the stars whispering in your ear as you pass by and watch the moon as it tries to lull to sleep those who are still awake with it's gentle glow. Anything can happen.

Dreams are all our own. We can interpret them how we may, replay them in our minds over and over again, we might not even remember them but they still remain as they are. Nothing changes. They excite us and upset us. Sometimes they even awaken us with a fright. However, they are still there. They're preparing themselves right before we slip into unconsciousness. They tidy up the flaws and wipe clean any mistakes there might have been. They get ready for our watchful doze and our sleepy laughs as we make our way through another adventure. Sometimes we also dream during the daytime which is the only time we can contort our dreams into what we want them to be. Into what we see them. Dreams have so many different possibilities that expose themselves to us, that they are just confusing sometimes. However, we just can pull ourselves away from them.

There's this great book I read a while back. I read it on my iPod (I know tsk tsk, but it was free) and I still can't get enough of it. I've read it a few times now and the more I read it, the more I envy the fact of how wonderful it is. I wish it were real sometimes. This book is technically based on a dream and it is about children. What is this book you may ask? Well my dear blog readers, it's called Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie. That is one of the most amazing books I have ever read. It gives so much insight into dreaming and how our mind works that it just astounds me. Here's just a little piece of this amazing book, and I will bid you all a wonderful night.

If you shut your eyes and are a lucky one, you may see at times a shapeless pool of lovely pale colours suspended in the darkness; then if you squeeze your eyes tighter, the pool begins to take shape, and the colours become so vivid that with another squeeze they must go on fire. But just before they go on fire you see the lagoon. This is the nearest you ever get to it on the mainland, just one heavenly moment; if there could be two moments you might see the surf and hear the mermaids singing.


Farewell,
Tabs <3

I've never been a huge fan of heat. It's something that just bugs me. However, due to the unalterable fact that I do live in California and heat tends to come in abundance when summer comes around, it can't be escaped. Right now it is a blazing 106 degrees outside, and you can't help but break into a sweat just walking a few steps outside to get the mail. It's also pretty hard not to start drooling when a swimming pool or a lake comes into view. It's so incredibly tempting to jump in that it frightens me. Hopefully you are all frolicking in some form of water and making sand castles like there is no tomorrow. Just make sure to drink plenty of water. This heat stroke business really isn't fun and I'm speaking from experience. 

Yesterday was Independence Day, one of the most thought of and iconic days known in American history. For me, it's not all about the illegal fireworks, BBQing, and parties. It's about the fact that we gained independence on that day. The day the Declaration of Independence was drafted mostly by Thomas Jefferson on July 4th, 1776. If any of you have read the Declaration of Independence, it truly is remarkable. Due to the fact that I was in AP History, I got the pleasure of reading through this whole document and dissecting it into little itty bitty pieces to understand what it actually meant. It was not an easy task and took about two weeks, but it was very much worth it. To sum it all up, it states that the thirteen colonies that were at war with Great Britain were now to be considered as independent states. May God bless those brave men and may He also bless this country. Without that important piece of History, who knows where we would be right now. I always wish that I could have been there in the signing room with them, just to witness this amazing event. To actually feel what they were feeling at that moment and to get that exhilaration of finally having liberty. I'd maybe even try and sneak in a couple pictures (flash off of course) and watch the expressions on their face as they signed they're names. I believe it was 56 signatures? Somewhere around there? Correct me if I'm wrong. It would just be positively amazing. 

Sorry I went into nerd mode. Anyway I hope you all had a wonderful Independence Day and maybe even appreciated the fact that it was truly a historical time. I hope you lit a hundred fireworks and ran away screaming for your life when you realized you were standing to close to them as they blew up. I hope you ate tons of BBQ and even went swimming right after you ate. I also hope you didn't throw up. Here's probably one of my favorite lines from the Declaration of Independence and it's not my favorite because it sounds cool or is incredibly popular. No. It's my favorite because it gives the feeling of being apart of something greater than myself. It gives me the feeling of being able to do anything.